Movie Trailer Truisms

You’ll talk about this trailer more than the movie you paid for.

It’s OK to just have fun at the movies every now and again.

Just get the big soda. Go crazy.

Remember to add this to your “To Rent” list.

Your enjoyment of this movie has been impacted by the weather.

It’s OK to judge people based on their taste in movies.

You laughed not at the movie but at something your cat did today.

There’s a blog about this director you should totally be reading.

This studio would like to talk to you.

This movie would have been rated R 10 years ago.

This movie will challenge your opinions.

You feel like you’re alone. You’re not.

Your favorite scene from this trailer isn’t in the movie.

A blog post about this trailer just got commented on.

You’re jealous of the guy who snuck in Chex Mix.

You both liked this movie for different reasons.

Nope, not better than watching The Empire Strikes Back again.

An independent filmmaker would like your support.

No one wants to hear you “MST3K” this movie.

You kind of want to buy this movie’s toys.

If you could watch this movie at home you’d choose that.

Two bad choices means they don’t get to pick the movie anymore.

You never heard about a movie you would have loved.

You forgot to add 15 minutes for the trailers.

You forgot to get butter.

It’s cool to not like a movie, but explain why clearly.

Pre-show ads mean your ticket wasn’t $35.

Yeah, I wonder where the MovieFacts pamphlets went too.

You just want to watch the movie, not become an advocate. That’s cool.

This movie would be better if you bought some Gummi Bears.

You’ll forget this movie inside of 25 minutes.

You missed the trailers.

Tickets, dinner, babysitter…for this?

There’s no way you’re not tweeting this.

Your wife/husband picked it so back off.

You’re the youngest person in the theater, dude.

If you paid attention to critics you’d blame them.

“Better than you expected” is a low bar to clear. Expect more.

It’s alright that you were the only one to laugh just now.

It’s your responsibility to warn others about this movie.

You missed a Kurosawa reference. Watch better movies.

3D. Kinda neat but certainly not necessary.

This movie’s success is on your shoulders. Speak up.

Read better critics. Watch better movies. It’s like math.

Movies with easy answers make you dumb.

We get it. The trailer was better. Move on.

You’re the oldest person in the theater, dude.

Embrace that “My friend is a cinematic idiot” feeling.

Good movies. Beef jerky. Both things you need to chew on to appreciate.

This is a trailer for a movie with someone who has an online sex tape.

You never saw a single print ad for this movie.

Don’t blame the marketing. It’s your money. Be smarter.

It’s not your fault. The trailer made you do it.

“LOL” is not a comprehensive recap of this movie. Explain yourself.

Theater hoppers go to “the special hell.”

Someone brought a five-year old to this R-rated movie. Judge them.

You really wish there were more explosions.

You decided this movie was worth your Saturday off.

You’ll never read the original book. Let’s stop pretending.

You’re thinking about something else.

You’ll remember where you’ve seen that actor before eventually.

Movies and books can both be just as good but for different reasons.

There’s no one to complain to about the movie. Let it go.

Those posters sure are pretty, aren’t they?

It’s not you. The framing is actually off.

No one else has your opinion. Share it anyway.

You just decided to see a movie based on its marketing.

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