Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.
- When someone asks you if you’re a god, say “yes.”
- MITCHELL!
- Just in case it comes up you should know the weight of various birds both on their own and when carrying a coconut.
- Revenge is sometimes a moral imperative.
- Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster by your side.
- Don’t point that finger at me unless you intend to use it.
- Make it up as you go along.
- The password is “swordfish.”
- Some people just want to watch the world burn.
11 is one more than 10.
- Just in case it comes up you should know how to defeat Rodents of Unusual Size.
- When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible
- Howard Johnson is right.
- Relationships are like sharks, they have to keep moving forward or they die.
- It’s OK to realize every now and again that if you played by the rules you’d be in gym class at that moment.
- Listen to him, he’s pre-med.
- Fear is the mind-killer.
- Don’t mention the war.
- Russians don’t take a dump without a plan.
- Shoot the glass.
- Feel the need for speed.
- A great many things in life depend upon your point of view.
- A good rug can really tie a room together.
- Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
It’s good to be the king.
- Kills below the hard deck don’t count.
- If someone warns you about a killer rabbit take them seriously
- You might think Bolivia is going to be a gold-strewn paradise but you should check first.
- Coffee is for closers.
- Cure jet lag by taking off your shoes and curling your toes into balls on the carpet
- To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.
- Language was invented for one endeavor: To woo women.
- Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
- Listen to your friend Billy Zane.
- Nobody’s perfect.
- Every once in a while hit 88 miles per hour just to see some serious shit.
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball
- Whatever size boat you think you need, get the next one bigger.
- Abide.
- If someone grabs you, breathes in deeply and says you’re their “number one guy” don’t do what they’re asking.
- Don’t go into business with anyone wearing a cardboard belt.
- Embrace your “dare to be great” situations.
- We’ve all got that Barton Fink feeling but only one guy has it in spades.
- No Toon can resist “Shave and a Haircut.”
- There’s no fighting in the War Room.
- It’s such a fine line between stupid and clever.
- Regardless of your nationality, a drunkard is a citizen of the world.
- You know…for kids!
You can’t fight in the war room.
- Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
- Save Latin
- Under the rocks are words, and some of the words are theirs.
- Make sure the words you’re using mean what you think they mean.
- Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
- Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
- The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.
- Agreeing to work on your day off does not mean you can’t still choose to play hockey, attend wakes etc.
- Hover boards don’t work on water unless you’ve got power.
- Every once in a while spin a top just to make sure you’re not dreaming.
- Rubbing is racing.
- There’s no crying in baseball.
Make a big deal about little things, like your name appearing in the phone book.
- “If” is the middle word in “life.”
- If you put your beds together into bunk beds you can have lots more room for activities.
- Don’t cross the streams. Or look into the trap.
- If you’re not first, you’re last.
- Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
- You can’t show it to the Laker girls.
- There’s no basement at The Alamo.
- Never leave your wingman.
- The chalice with the palace has the brew that is true.
- Whatever it is, I’m against it.
- Big hitter, the Lama. Long.
- If you want it done right, you gotta come down here and chum some of this shit yourself.
- Crucifixion’s a doddle.
- Watch your language. We’re werewolves, not swearwolves.
- No matter what kind of music you like, you like Nina.
- There’s a lot to be said for making people laugh.
- Movies are where we get our answers to life.
- A clipboard and a confident wave will get you into any building in the world!