Everything I Know I Learned At the Movies

• Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.
• When someone asks you if you’re a god, say “yes.”
• MITCHELL!
• Just in case it comes up you should know the weight of various birds both on their own and when carrying a coconut.
• Revenge is sometimes a moral imperative.
• Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster by your side.
• Make it up as you go along.
• The password is “swordfish.”
• Some people just want to watch the world burn.
• 11 is one more than 10.
• Just in case it comes up you should know how to defeat Rodents of Unusual Size.
• When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible
• Howard Johnson is right.
• Relationships are like sharks, they have to keep moving forward or they die.
• It’s OK to realize every now and again that if you played by the rules you’d be in gym class at that moment.
• Listen to him, he’s pre-med.
• Don’t mention the war.
• Feel the need for speed.
• A great many things in life depend upon your point of view.
• A good rug can really tie a room together.
• Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
• It’s good to be the king.
• Kills below the hard deck don’t count.
• If someone warns you about a killer rabbit take them seriously
• You might think Bolivia is going to be a gold-strewn paradise but you should check first.
• Coffee is for closers.
• Cure jet lag by taking off your shoes and curling your toes into balls on the carpet
• To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.
• Language was invented for one endeavor: To woo women.
• Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
• Listen to your friend Billy Zane.
• Nobody’s perfect.
• Every once in a while hit 88 miles per hour just to see some serious shit.
• If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball
• Whatever size boat you think you need, get the next one bigger.
• Abide.
• If someone grabs you, breathes in deeply and says you’re their “number one guy” don’t do what they’re asking.
• Don’t go into business with anyone wearing a cardboard belt.
• Embrace your “dare to be great” situations.
• We’ve all got that Barton Fink feeling but only one guy has it in spades.
• There’s no fighting in the War Room.
• It’s such a fine line between stupid and clever.
• Regardless of your nationality, a drunkard is a citizen of the world.
• You know…for kids!
• You can’t fight in the war room.
• Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
• Save Latin
• Under the rocks are words, and some of the words are theirs.
• Make sure the words you’re using mean what you think they mean.
• Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
• Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
• The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.
• Agreeing to work on your day off does not mean you can’t still choose to play hockey, attend wakes etc.
• Hover boards don’t work on water unless you’ve got power.
• Every once in a while spin a top just to make sure you’re not dreaming.
• Rubbing is racing.
• There’s no crying in baseball.
• Make a big deal about little things, like your name appearing in the phone book.
• “If” is the middle word in “life.”
• If you put your beds together into bunk beds you can have lots more room for activities.
• Don’t cross the streams. Or look into the trap.
• If you’re not first, you’re last.
• Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
• You can’t show it to the Laker girls.
• There’s no basement at The Alamo.
• Never leave your wingman.
• The chalice with the palace has the brew that is true.
• Whatever it is, I’m against it.
• Big hitter, the Lama. Long.
• If you want it done right, you gotta come down here and chum some of this shit yourself.
• Watch your language. We’re werewolves, not swearwolves.