Everything I Know I Learned At the Movies

  • godfather cannoliLeave the gun. Take the cannoli.
  • When someone asks you if you’re a god, say “yes.”
  • MITCHELL!
  • Just in case it comes up you should know the weight of various birds both on their own and when carrying a coconut.
  • Revenge is sometimes a moral imperative.
  • Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster by your side.
  • Make it up as you go along.
  • The password is “swordfish.”
  • Some people just want to watch the world burn.
  • spinal tap 1111 is one more than 10.
  • Just in case it comes up you should know how to defeat Rodents of Unusual Size.
  • When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible
  • Howard Johnson is right.
  • Relationships are like sharks, they have to keep moving forward or they die.
  • It’s OK to realize every now and again that if you played by the rules you’d be in gym class at that moment.
  • Listen to him, he’s pre-med.
  • Fear is the mind-killer.
  • Don’t mention the war.
  • Feel the need for speed.
  • A great many things in life depend upon your point of view.
  • A good rug can really tie a room together.
  • Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
  • 93135-its-good-to-be-the-king-gif-Me-f5bGIt’s good to be the king.
  • Kills below the hard deck don’t count.
  • If someone warns you about a killer rabbit take them seriously
  • You might think Bolivia is going to be a gold-strewn paradise but you should check first.
  • Coffee is for closers.
  • Cure jet lag by taking off your shoes and curling your toes into balls on the carpet
  • To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.
  • Language was invented for one endeavor: To woo women.
  • Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
  • Listen to your friend Billy Zane.
  • Nobody’s perfect.
  • Every once in a while hit 88 miles per hour just to see some serious shit.
  • Dodgeball-movie-dodge-a-wrenchIf you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball
  • Whatever size boat you think you need, get the next one bigger.
  • Abide.
  • If someone grabs you, breathes in deeply and says you’re their “number one guy” don’t do what they’re asking.
  • Don’t go into business with anyone wearing a cardboard belt.
  • Embrace your “dare to be great” situations.
  • We’ve all got that Barton Fink feeling but only one guy has it in spades.
  • No Toon can resist “Shave and a Haircut.”
  • There’s no fighting in the War Room.
  • It’s such a fine line between stupid and clever.
  • Regardless of your nationality, a drunkard is a citizen of the world.
  • You know…for kids!
  • dr strangeloveYou can’t fight in the war room.
  • Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
  • Save Latin
  • Under the rocks are words, and some of the words are theirs.
  • Make sure the words you’re using mean what you think they mean.
  • Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
  • Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
  • The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.
  • Agreeing to work on your day off does not mean you can’t still choose to play hockey, attend wakes etc.
  • Hover boards don’t work on water unless you’ve got power.
  • Every once in a while spin a top just to make sure you’re not dreaming.
  • Rubbing is racing.
  • There’s no crying in baseball.
  • the-jerk-phone-bookMake a big deal about little things, like your name appearing in the phone book.
  • “If” is the middle word in “life.”
  • If you put your beds together into bunk beds you can have lots more room for activities.
  • Don’t cross the streams. Or look into the trap.
  • If you’re not first, you’re last.
  • Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.
  • You can’t show it to the Laker girls.
  • There’s no basement at The Alamo.
  • Never leave your wingman.
  • The chalice with the palace has the brew that is true.
  • Whatever it is, I’m against it.
  • Big hitter, the Lama. Long.
  • If you want it done right, you gotta come down here and chum some of this shit yourself.
  • Watch your language. We’re werewolves, not swearwolves.
  • No matter what kind of music you like, you like Nina.
  • There’s a lot to be said for making people laugh.
  • Movies are where we get our answers to life.
  • A clipboard and a confident wave will get you into any building in the world!